You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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