After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
