jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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