I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
