I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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