are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
