your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
