Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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