dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize