I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You need a sexual gate keeper
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
