I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
