i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
