remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
