I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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