I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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