"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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