you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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