is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
