Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize