Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
