I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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