I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
