You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
