we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
