Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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