we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
