so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
