Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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