I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize
