fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
