i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
