Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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