I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
hell yes lets make some ravioli
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
