clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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