im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
