What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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