a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
