Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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