Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
