he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
