I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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