lets start a swedish sibling band together
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
