Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
