I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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