I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
