Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
