I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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