at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
be right there i have to get my cape
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
