My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
are you so shy because you have an std?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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