YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
