I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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