My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
