so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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