My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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