he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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