Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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