glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
