Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
