Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
