She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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