In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
