Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
